Who Gives a S#!t?: My Music Picks for 2014

Too exhausted for pithy intros.

For most of the year I was still wrapped up in a pop wonderland, so I'm sure there are some gems that've been missed. But as someone who habitually shuffles through 24,000+ songs on an iPod Classic (what of it? they're worth money now), it's seldom that I become obsessed with hearing a record in its entirety. Over and over again.

That's pretty much the only criteria I used in choosing my Top 10 Albums of 2014. Enjoy.

UPDATE: How did I ever miss Eyehategod? Also, the Tokio Hotel record is garbage. What did they do to you, Bill?

Best of 2014 (in order, based on how many times I spun the record straight through):
1. Cold World - How the Gods Chill
2. The Afghan Whigs - Do To the Beast
3. Rancid - Honor Is All We Know
4. Mastodon - Once More 'Round the Sun 
5. Run the Jewels - Run the Jewels 2 
6. Godflesh - A World Lit Only by Fire
7. Behemoth - The Satanist
8. Ghostface Killah - Twelve Reasons to Die 
9. Eyehategod - s/t
10. Pallbearer - Foundations of Burden
 
Pretty Damn Good:
Against Me! - Transgender Dysphoria Blues
At the Gates - At War With Reality 
Exodus - Blood In, Blood Out
Youth Code - A Place to Stand EP
Finch - Back to Oblivion
Lana Del Rey - Ultraviolence
Vance Joy - Dream Your Life Away

Have yet to listen to these artists' latest records: Swans, Tokio Hotel, Shellac, Ex Hex, TV on the Radio.

Postscript: I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever get into Taylor Swift. Basic pop music has never suited me.

Best Shows of 2014:
Motley Crue @ Madison Square Garden - Though the set list was better when I caught Crue's Las Vegas residency, there was nothing like sending off the geezers at the most befitting NYC venue of them all.
Godflesh @ Irving Plaza - This was an experience for all senses, including the vibrations it swept through my body. Loudest show of the year that left me physically spent.
King Diamond @ Best Buy Theater - The double-decker stage, replete with gates! The actors! The light-up upside down crosses and pentagram! King's live show was like everything all concerned parents assume metal shows are like. READ this take on it.
Infest @ the Well - Seeing the underground icons plow through their discography was eye-opening; and a good hang (thanks for the ticket, Richard!).
Gorilla Biscuits @ House of Vans - Every summer there's one magical show where you get to see all of your friends, meet some new ones and enjoy some old-school hardcore. This was it.
Bonus: Pussy Riot @ Vice 20, Brooklyn Navy Yard - It was an honor to be in the presence of these blunt, independent Russian women (who are willing to risk their lives for their expression) as they covered riot grrl darlings, Le Tigre.

JAM

New Rules: Smartphones and Concerts

I go to a lot of shows. And as an avid concertgoer, I've noticed a near-total loss of common courtesy amongst fellow attendees when it comes to smartphone (and camera) usage at live events. Most recently, I was at an Afghan Whigs show at Terminal 5 when I witnessed some of the most mind-boggling behavior before me.

While the Afghan Whigs were putting on a phenomenal, deep cut-filled rock n roll show, some asshats in front of me were too busy to notice. Why? They were streaming baseball games on their phones. That is, when they weren't busy checking stats on the brightest screen I've seen in my life. During the second song into the set.

After a while, I had to say something. It went a little like this:

Me: "Hey! When you go to baseball games, do you stream live concerts?"
Jerk: "No, but this is the playoffs."
Me: "So?"
Jerk: "So, the Orioles haven't been in the playoffs in 15 years."
[My friend chimes in]: "The Afghan Whigs haven't played in 15 years!" 

Amazingly, I guilted him into walking away. But for every one guy who figures out they're not the only one distracted by his phone screen at a sold-out show, there are tens of thousands who think paying for a ticket (or getting on a guest list) entitles them to act as if they're the only ones in the audience.

Perhaps I'm extra sensitive because of my 5'3" stature and it's hard enough to find an unobstructed view without winding up standing behind That Guy. The problem is, everyone is turning into That Guy. It might be time for some new rules.

The New Etiquette for Using Tech Toys at Concerts

1. Even though you spent two grand on a tricked-out DSLR, you are not entitled to shove past people to get a vantage point to shoot. If you're on assignment, get there early. If you must squeeze in somewhere, ask nicely, take your shot and get out of the way.

2. There's nothing wrong with taking a couple of snapshots for posterity (and Instagram), but quit it after a couple of shots. You're not selling these pics to Rolling Stone. Put down your iPhone and just watch the show.

3. Stop recording videos at shows. In addition to spending all your time staring at the tiny screen instead of, say, the band playing in front of you, you wind up obscuring the view of everyone behind you. And really, do you want to spend the entire night raising your hand like you're Sure? 

4. Oh, is it just your favorite song you'd like to capture? Try holding the camera upward within the frame of your body so the people behind you don't become distracted by this whole ordeal.

5. Turn down the brightness on your phone. When a venue's lights are dimmed, your bright-ass phone becomes that much more distracting. 

6. Save the Facebook and Twitter scrolling for in between acts. Beyond the fact that this is the ultimate insult to the band onstage, aren't you embarrassed to be doing it during a performance? I would be.

7. Learn from the tale of my sports-loving brethren: Live in the moment and leave all other streaming events at the door. So what if you're bored or can "multitask"? The rest of us shouldn't be forced to.

8. If you do any of the above with an iPad, the person behind you should be allowed to take said tablet out of your hands and hit you upside the head with it.

Turbonegro's New Video

Last year, I was lucky enough to catch Turbonegro's American debut performance with new vocalist, The Duke of Nothing (aka: Tony Sylvester). And while the broad Brit turned out a consistent set of hits that won over the demanding crowd, it was clear that emulating Hank Von Helvete's flamboyant over-the-top ways was not part of his M.O.

Are the infamous Finns heading into a more "straight" mainstream direction? Check out the video for their new single, "You Give Me Worms," and share your thoughts.

Ramones! Ramones! Ramones!

 

Blower :: San Marcos, TX :: Tonight

I don't care who you are or where you live exactly, but if you are in the sovereign republic of Texas—or any of its neighboring states—you best get your ass to Lucy's in San Marcos to see a band that can only be described as the second coming of KISS—after they've been sodomized by Turbonegro. Who am I speaking of? The one and fucking only, BLOWER!!!



One more reason to love them... Their motto is: "Hot Wheels, Cold Beer and Big Titties!"