Thank You, America...

...For not fucking this one up, too!



Outside my window right now are people exhibiting behavior I've only witnessed after the Yankees win a World Series. Literally, all I hear is hooting, hollering and neighbors screaming out their windows over CNN predictions that Barack Obama has surpassed the 270 electoral votes needed to overtake John McCain in order to become the next President of the United States.

But now the real battle begins. For all his rock-star status, Obama must now facilitate the change he's been so earnestly speaking of. And it won't be easy. Our country, simply put, is fucked. Hell, when German magazines start criticizing us for our divisiveness and marginalization, you know we've dug ourselves into a deep, black hole.

Good luck, President Elect Obama.

Now Sarah Palin can go back to rearing her children and grandchild, Tina Fey can focus on the brilliant 30 Rock and maybe I can have a full-time job. Oh, and thank you, Texas, for doing my tattoo proud... NOT!

Happy Halloween!!!

I fucking love Halloween. It's a holiday that celebrates debauchery, mischief, and—most importantly—50% off clearance sales on November 1 for anything with a skull on it. Over the years, I've worked through my "sexy" phase with odes to my beloved trannie idol, Christina Aguilera and bondage-era Bettie Page.



Last year, I paid my respects to Suicidal Tendencies frontman, "Cyco" Mike Muir. Everyone at my big, gay Atlanta party thought my costume was "Mexican."



This year, I'm going political. No, I'm not going as the President. Fuck that job.




I'm going as the two most cliche costumes of 2008: The Joker and Sarah Palin. At the same time. Of course, you can read more into it... sorta like putting Revlon "Certainly Red" lipstick on a villian. Hmm, what else could the VP candidate and the chaos monger have in common? Lack of common sense? The same absurd smile? All I know is nothing scared me more than the below image of Presidential Cabbage Patch Kids dolls, found on eBay's splash page, no less. Seriously? So many of us are out of work and people are trying to pawn off this garbage? Next Tuesday cannot come soon enough.



See You Next Tuesday...

Iwwww

The Obama Dildo? I'm not ready for all this.