Triton Industrial Fest Takes Brighton Beach

 Though I'll be doing my best to hustle my way into ATP New York this coming Labor Day weekend, it almost pains me to know that I won't be around to witness firsthand the cultural mashup that is the Triton Festival, which is set to go down over three nights at Oceana Hall—a Russian nightclub in Brighton Beach.

An ambitious festival in its first year, Triton promises three nights of Industrial music madness with an international lineup of artists from Norway, Germany, the Netherlands and Detroit, plus a host of parties and DJ sets.

At first, I got a chuckle at the idea of unsuspecting locals getting all dolled up for a night out on the town only to come across the place overrun by patrons wearing cats-eye contact lenses and bands like Icons of Coil and Hanzel und Gretyl. Then, the more I thought about it, the more I realized Industrial-Goths and Russians had a lot in common...


1. Both Russians and Industrial fans wear black almost exclusively.

2. Both spend an inordinate amount of time getting their hair in unnatural shapes/colors.

3. Russians and Industrial fans *love* to over-accessorize and sometimes put on too much makeup.

4. Hello.... uniform fetishes!!

5. Last but not least, THUMPING BASS TRACKS!

So while I'll be stalking out Jim Jarmusch in the Borscht Belt, I implore the rest of you to check out Triton. And take pictures. Lots and lots of pictures.

A New York Moment: The Wackness

There are some things you just can't beat living in New York. Unabashed prejudice and sexism are some of those things. And when the two meet, well, that is truly something to behold. Example, you ask? Try this:

My contractor, Al "Appetite For Construction" Huckabee, and I were carrying an old loveseat out of my apartment and throwing it into a dumpster when a 60-ish yr. old man who was walking his dog felt the need to ask about my ethnicity. But he didn't ask me.

"Is she Russian?" he asked Al.

Al did not respond.

"Is she Russian?" he asked again.

I turned to him and said, "SHE speaks English!"

Without missing a beat—and completely ignoring me—Old Man continues, "'Cause you know no American girl would lift furniture like that. Only a Russian."

Amazing. I just shook my head and headed back into my apartment. The worst part? I AM RUSSIAN.