Fuck You, 2008

It's true, I am quite the passionate cynic. But it's not just me this time. Most people I know had a shit existence during these past 364 days and can't wait for 2008 to be over with either.

What was not to love? Recession and a crap job market. Check. A seemingly never-ending presidential election season that got dumber by the month. Check plus! Bush kept making us look retarded, and our idols wouldn't stop dying. Seriously, if I thought it would have helped, I would have created an "End Death In '08" group on Facebook long ago.

The old saying goes that the four most traumatic experiences someone can go through are job loss, divorce, death and moving. Well, I did three out of four in '08... and considering that no one got an email heads-up about my starter marriage, you can figure out which one I was spared. If it weren't for my close friends and family, I don't think I would've gotten through the second half of this year. Thank you, all.

So for all of the above reasons: Fuck you and fuck off, 2008. My best wishes to everyone for a happy, prosperous and safe 2009. Oh, and holler if you know of a good New Year's Eve party in NYC. Or know anyone that's hiring.

Lastly, I wanted to give one final shout-out to some of the people we lost this year. Their inspiration and contributions to our foolish world are already missed.


Erlene Zierke




Paul Newman





Heath Ledger





George Carlin




Bettie Page




Eartha Kitt




Brad Renfro




Plus: Jerry Finn, Michael Turner, Bernie Mac, Tim Russert, Sydney Pollack, Roy Scheider, Charlton Heston, David Foster Wallace, Isaac Hayes, Harvey Korman, Estelle Getty, Jeff Healey, Don LaFontaine, Jerry Reed, Yves Saint Laurent, Jerry Wexler, Stan Winston, Richard Wright, Bo Diddley, Mark Felt and countless others.

Happy Halloween!!!

I fucking love Halloween. It's a holiday that celebrates debauchery, mischief, and—most importantly—50% off clearance sales on November 1 for anything with a skull on it. Over the years, I've worked through my "sexy" phase with odes to my beloved trannie idol, Christina Aguilera and bondage-era Bettie Page.



Last year, I paid my respects to Suicidal Tendencies frontman, "Cyco" Mike Muir. Everyone at my big, gay Atlanta party thought my costume was "Mexican."



This year, I'm going political. No, I'm not going as the President. Fuck that job.




I'm going as the two most cliche costumes of 2008: The Joker and Sarah Palin. At the same time. Of course, you can read more into it... sorta like putting Revlon "Certainly Red" lipstick on a villian. Hmm, what else could the VP candidate and the chaos monger have in common? Lack of common sense? The same absurd smile? All I know is nothing scared me more than the below image of Presidential Cabbage Patch Kids dolls, found on eBay's splash page, no less. Seriously? So many of us are out of work and people are trying to pawn off this garbage? Next Tuesday cannot come soon enough.



See You Next Tuesday...