Remember When Metal Was Dangerous?

When I was a kid, telling someone I was into metal usually meant receiving a reply asking if I worshiped Satan or wanted to kill myself (seriously, the idea of subliminal messages is still SO dumb - why would you want the people who buy your records to die?).

Over the last decade, as the buying power of older males dovetailed with metal fans' aging population, we began seeing Judas Priest and even Death Angel being used to hawk everything from burgers to sensible Japanese cars. And that's cool, I guess, if it means another revenue stream for the bands. 

But then I saw this... Granted, the news was released almost a month ago, but when you run six sites, sometimes reading informative e-blasts is a secondary joy. Either way, this shit won't happen until May 15, so you have plenty of time to set those DVRs.

Black Sabbath - Ozzy Osbourne, Tony Iommi and Geezer Butler - will make a rare television appearance on the season finale of CBS' CSI: Crime Scene Investigation on Wednesday, May 15 at 10p. As the CSI team investigates a trail of murders with similarities to the sins in Dante's Inferno, the band will share a scene with D.B. Russell (Ted Danson), when he and Conrad (Marc Vann) attend a Black Sabbath show. The appearance will mark the band's world premiere of the song End of the Beginning from their new album 13, due out June 11 on Vertigo/Republic. "Because the album is titled 13 and this is the finale of CSI's Season 13, it seemed like the perfect match," said Executive Producer Don McGill. - c/o & Copyright Cynopsis 2013

Seriously, though, remember when metal was taboo? 

R.I.P. Jeff Hanneman

An end of an era. Rest in power. Slayer forever.

Photo lifted from hornsuprocks.comhornsuprocks.com

HIM's "Tears on Tape"

HIM have always been a very guilty pleasure of mine, though I really thought they fell off on their last album, Screamworks. So far, the two tracks I've heard off of their forthcoming record - "All Lips Go Blue" and the title track, "Tears on Tape," - have fared better.

And today, HIM dropped the official video for the latter. Ville Valo is finally showing his age, but is still more rock star than anyone born in the past 30 years.

8-Bit Ratt

Still better than dubstep... Lay It Down, indeed.

Some Days, It Doesn't Pay to Check Your Email...

Quoth Andrew W.K.: "Whether you just finished rocking a packed club or have an intimate encounter after a busy day, this product will make couples feel brand new. Fresh + Sexy Wipes were specially designed to help couples feel confidently clean, before and after they engage in sexual activity!"

So when should I expect my care package?

Simon Bisley and the Art of Subversion

Since today is artist Simon Bisley's birthday (at least according to his seemingly-official Facebook fan page), I thought would be cool to give him a shout-out and reflect on what his most popular title did for me as a kid.

When I was 14, I wasn't reading comics. But my then-boyfriend was, and he'd take me to the comic shop with him on his weekly runs. During one visit, the guy working at the shop - having seen my black-clad frame enough times - handed me a promo pin that dictated, "Bite Me, Fanboy."

What was this? Was this a vampire thing? I didn't know what any of it was about, but I did know I wanted to wear that pin on my MC jacket without seeming like a "poseur," so I bought Lobo's Back #1, the comic it was promoting. That began not only my love affair with comics outside the realm of friendly superheroes, but in poring over the art of Simon Bisley, I discovered that he too was a metalhead. How? The band names he drew (Ramones, Slayer) as graffiti on various walls throughout the mini series among the other gems hidden in plain sight within the pages.

That was when I first began to understand subversion. From then on, any piece of sequential art I came across became subject to such scrutiny, and the habit stayed with me for life - when appreciating with any art form. My permanent takeaway: look past the obvious; seek out hidden meanings; and do something similar when you can. For sparking that inquisitive spirit, I'll forever be in Biz's debt.

More on Lobo - my favorite comic character to this day - can be uncovered by reading THIS. Now frag off!

My Boyfriend, The Video Star

Perhaps star is a little much, but the "stoner dude" walking out of the bathroom in Suffocation's "As Grace Descends" video at the :47 second mark is the much heralded Thorns Capricorn. Not a bad little video; what's not to enjoy about whiskey, dancing girls and moshing? Then again, I watched it on mute. NOT a fan of the band.

Whether you choose to have the volume on or not, enjoy it below.